Do you love lists, check boxes, and schedules? Sure, it keeps us on track with the detailed stuff in our lives. But does it mean that we have giant ozone sized holes where the important things are concerned?
Lists keep us organized and they are attractive because it is a logical and analytical way of tackling the job at hand. They are nice, neat, and efficient because they are linear. You can track progress and it feels oh so satisfying when we check each item off.
But what if that’s distracting you from the big stuff? The kind of stuff that involves emotions and is messy, disorganized, and never truly gets completed?
Self-help guru Jack Canfield tell us:
If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings—everything! This is not easy.
I’m guessing there’s no list for that. But I can offer some solutions. Start by listening to the voices in your head. Pay special attention to the negative thoughts and for two days simply write down where you feel deficient. For example, notice when you think you’re not smart enough, not thin enough, will never be successful at… The key is to not judge or criticize yourself. Be an impartial observer.
I know this takes discipline, but it is a crucial first step to taking responsibility for your thinking, which ultimately reflects your real life experiences. As you do this, you are going to notice themes which generally fall under family/relationships, health/physical appearance, and wealth/success. Next, start naming these voices. Mine are called Ms. Controlling, Woe-Is-Me, and I even have a Mario Andretti one that hates to be stuck behind slower cars.
Each time I catch my inner critical voice emerge, I stop, acknowledge it, and simply invite it into my heart. I don’t try to change it. I don’t pretend that I didn’t have that thought or justify myself for thinking it. It’s simply one voice (aspect) in my head. In other words, it’s not all of me. I let it become all of me if I give into it, or worse, try to fight it. Then I’ve followed it down that rabbit hole and I may not emerge for days, and sometimes even years!
And finally, the more you love yourself, the greater your capacity to see others with compassion.
Naheed Oberfeld is an EFT practitioner, coach, and speaker based out of Germantown, Maryland. She uses EFT and the Law of Attraction to help her clients live their full potential by releasing patterns of behavior that keep them stuck. She has helped her clients grow their business, reach their career goals, and mend broken relationships, all while creating a life of ease, joy, and passion.
If life is a journey, Naheed helps you enjoy the ride! She can be reached at email@example.com. Her website is www.OberfeldCoaching.com.