I was driving home after attending a networking meeting when for no particular reason I had the urge to shift lanes. The right lane meant slower traffic, which I generally avoided. On this day I followed the impulse. No sooner than I did, I saw the speed trap; a cop parked behind some bushes. This time I heeded that still, small voice. Too many times I ignored it. Sounds familiar?
When we are in the throes of addiction we disconnect ourselves from that inner voice that always guides us back home to self-love.
According to master teacher Abraham Hicks, by training yourself to move up your Emotional Guidance Scale you regain that voice, which is key to overcoming addiction. The emotional scale is a list of incrementally better feeling emotions that you slide in and out of, but when used deliberately, can be a very powerful tool.
Use this simple three step process. Experiment with it and make it yours!
Step 1: How do you feel this very moment?
Take a moment and list the top three emotions you feel right now. Most of us avoid confronting the bad feeling stuff inside of us. It’s easier to suppress rather than acknowledge it. We are even taught to stay focused on the positive and ignore the rest. This inner conflict in your emotions creates an energy imbalance which you experience as addictions and self-defeating behavior.
Step 2: Choose to accept yourself anyway!
Our self worth can quickly spiral downward when we fail either ourselves or those who love and trust us. As tough as it may be, acknowledge that who you are as a person (deserving of love) is separate and independent of the behavior. Without this realization you will feel stuck in a downward cycle of unworthiness which you “prove” to yourself by continuing to commit harmful and illegal acts, which further convinces you of your unworthiness.
Step 3: Reach for the next highest feeling emotion
Our greatest success comes one step at a time. You will either never start on the road to recovery or slide back down if you try to make a leap that is too big because you are not emotionally aligned with the goal. Start by finding yourself on the emotional scale and see what the next level up looks like.
For example, if you are feeling stuck at depression and despair, don’t try to reach for happy and joyful. As improbable as it may seem, feeling guilty is an improvement in the Valium Canada vibration of your emotions. Once you consistently feel guilty, you may find yourself slipping into revenge or even anger. Celebrate that as progress! Crazy, I know, but acknowledge and celebrate every moment spent in a better feeling emotion.
The goal is not to stay stuck on the lower emotions, but rather to use it a guide to see what small, incremental changes you can make to move up one rung on the ladder. I’ll talk more about how to shift to the next higher emotion in the next article.
The beauty of this system is that it allows you to uncover exactly where you are moment by moment. We do not live our lives moving in one smooth direction, either upward or downward. Instead our emotions are constantly jumping around. However, by being aware of them you can intentionally lift yourself up rather than unwittingly spiral downward.
Emotional Guidance Scale
- Fear/grief/depression/despair/powerlessness
- Insecurity/guilt/unworthiness
- Jealousy
- Hatred/rage
- Revenge
- Anger
- Discouragement
- Blame
- Worry
- Doubt
- Disappointment
- Overwhelming
- Frustration/irritation/impatience
- Pessimism
- Boredom
- Contentment
- Hopefulness
- Optimism
- Positive expectations/beliefs
- Enthusiasm/eagerness/happiness
- Passion
- Joy/appreciation/empowered/freedom/love
Naheed Oberfeld is an EFT practitioner, coach, and speaker based out of Germantown Maryland. She uses EFT and the Law of Attraction to help her clients live their full potential by releasing patterns of behavior that keep them stuck. She has helped her clients grow their business, reach their career goals, and mend broken relationships, all while creating a life of ease, joy, and passion.
If life is a journey, Naheed helps you enjoy the ride! She can be reached at naheed@oberfeldcoaching.com for a no-obligation, complimentary coaching session. Her website is www.OberfeldCoaching.com.
where can I get a copy of your book “USING YOUR EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM. I really enjoy reading what u have outline. thanks ed